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Mathemology
Mathemology is the general term for the field of research dedicated to the accquisition of information through speculation and infinite complexity analysis. Brief History Mathemology as we know it today is often attributed as one of the great works of Leopold Greenwertz and his world-famous child labor camps. Beyond him, mathemology has had many contributers. But nobody cares about them. Development of Formal Structure Mathemological structure was the first part of the science developed. This is only mathemological, as a set of nomenclature is essential if one wishes to develop a formal system of speculation. According to popular legend, mathemology's central axiom (the Spectacularly Speculative Specific) was designed by Leopold Greenwertz after a long night of hard drinking and pondering the origin of the universe. However, some think these stories may have been romanticized on the basis that several predictions made by Greenwertz's reasoning are clearly fallacies. For instance, recorded in Greenwertz's book on the subject, from which his legend originates, is the below quote: "After a long night of hard drinking, I designed mathemology's central axiom, the Spectacularly Speculative Specific. It was conveyed to me by the omnipotent leprechaun king, Danny Gottlieb, and by His Fabulousness, George Michael, in alcohol-induced dream." These accounts are often said to be false since His Fabulousness would never reveal himself to an atheist like Greenwertz. Developments by Less-Notable People While technically mathemology has been ammended over the years by schools of individuals, mathemology is famously boring, leading to mass destruction of mathemological texts out of rage. Thus, limited texts exist on the subject of mathemological development. At least, that's what we tell ourselves to account for the fact that pretty much no one else ever seems to contribute to mathemology. The other story we tell ourselves is that those people never got our Facebook invite. Spectacularly Speculative Specifics The SSS refers to the main process of mathemology which uses a process of taking purely speculative ideas and applying them to a specifc concept. This method often falls under criticism for a wide variety of reasons. However, these reasons are unbased. In reality, pure speculation only exists as valid within itself. This makes it a perfectly rigorous system of logic, completely self-contained and not dependent on reality at all. The Formulation of a Specific Speculation SSS can be used to answer every question we have about our universe. The hardest part is learning how to use this powerful tool. To begin, ask yourself a question. Then, think to yourself, "I bet I already know the answer to that question and don't actually need to worry that much about it." Then, ask yourself, "I wonder what the answer to that question is." Then, answer the question. In example, this is the proof used by Leopold Greenwertz to show our universe is purely alchemical. -Can I prove the universe is purely alchemical? -Yes. Yes I can. -Since I can prove it, I must be able to prove it. Thus, it is proven. Criticisms of Mathemology As earlier mentioned, many people have criticized mathemology for various reasons. We will proceed to list some here categorically. Philosophical Criticisms Friedrich Nietzche Nietzche is well-known for condemning mathemology for being "illogical". However, all of Nietzche's work, regardless of subject area, can be invalidated with the same mathemological proof, Theorem 9,534: "Screw you, Friedrich Nietzche." Plato Plato had never actually heard of mathemology, however, hobbyists recording the motion of his body in his grave observed an internal angular motion manifesting itself in external radial motion of his body as soon as Greenwertz's mathemological book was created. "Scientific" Criticisms Several quote-on-quote scientists have been known to criticize mathemology. Immediately after, these people lose all their scientific credibility and their membership in the SOCI (Society of Credible Intellectuals). Criticisms by Max Planck The Planck Paradox Max Planck condemned mathemology for it's contradictions of itself. This was met with sharp rebutle from mathemologists. -If mathemology contradicts itself, it must also not contradict itself, since this is also a contradiction. -It is a contradiction for a self-contradictory theorem to not contradict its own contradictory nature. -Therefore, mathemology both contradicts and does not contradict itself, making it perfect. Endorsements of Mathemology Mathemology was most famously endorsed in 1943 when Joseph Stalin made it the official academic pursuit of communists.